The Tao of George

It’s just about 7am, the lights came on and woke most everyone else on the plane up. I have no idea how people in the old days could stand such long flights, much less boat rides from one continent to the other. I’m pretty close to  stabbing myself with my toothbrush.  My little flatpanel tv isn’t working for my seat and already I’m getting stir crazy. I kill some time here and there talkin to the lady next to me about how Philippine Airlines isn’t impressing me much with the busted tvs and the gross Kung Pao chicken, but there’s only so much fat you can chew with random strangers.  I’m glad I prepared myself somewhat for this scenario by loading up my netbook and iphone with some movies, but sitting still for so long is still a pain.  I wonder if I might be slightly claustrophobic.

Travelling with me are my mom and sister. My mother is handling the flight a lot better than I thought she would.  During takeoff and the many bouts of turbulence she was visibly scared but she seems to have relaxed quite a bit. When she’s scared she clutches her prayer books close and starts whispering her “Hail Mary”s and “Our Father”s.  While my sister’s in the bathroom, I sit next to her and hold her hand.  The contact with someone familiar helps to sooth her a bit more.  It’s been a while since she’s seen her brother and sisters so I know that while she doesn’t say and act like it, she’s pretty excited to be going back.  The last time she saw 2 of her sisters was earlier in May. Uncle Boy, Auntie Ko and Auntie Dolly she hasn’t seen in years. I haven’t seen them since I was *yay high*, you can’t see my hand but it’s not far off the ground.  Boy are they in for a surprise.

I can’t even imagine going so long without seeing my brothers and sister. We’re not the most open family about our feelings and other mushy crap like that, but I like to think that we’re pretty close.   I can’t really imagine NOT seeing them all for Christmas and New Year’s.

Ooh. Breakfast is being served. To be continued… or not.  We’re ALMOST there…

If there’s one thing that really irks me about long plane rides, it’s the plane fart phenomena. I can handle the turbulence, the bad food, the cramped space and the stewardesses who aren’t near as hot as they are in the movies. The plane farts however, they slay me.

What I hate about them is that when you catch that revolting whiff going through your nose you literally can not – do – ANYTHING. You can’t even acknowledge you smelled it, out of fear that people will think it was probably you that cut it up in the first place. Y’know the old adage “he who smelt it dealt it”? As you pretend to not smell anything, you try to look around without being obvious about looking around – and everyone looks so damn innocent. Yet you KNOW that behind all those innocent guises lurks the guilty fart ninja.

You can’t go anywhere to escape either. Unless you lock yourself in the bathroom, which isn’t really an option in today’s post 9/11 world. Even if you could, the moment you walk out of there everyone will suspect you of being the source of all the other foul assaults on their olfactory systems. You have no choice. All you can do is wait it out for the duration of your trip. Hoping and praying that they don’t do it again. I’ve never really been able to ascertain whether or not fart ninjas tend to be repeat offenders or not. No two farts ever really smell the same.

Tonight I’m living through the worst of the scenarios related to that – a freakin 14 hour international flight. Oh dear god I just got hit by another one. Argh!!

My sister, mother and I are sitting here chillin in front of the International Gate @ sf International with the rest of my family. Figured I’d give the wp widget for the iPhone a shot.

So this is basically a long winded “hello world” test from my phone.